Is over really means OVER?

Woooh! I'm in a crucial situation right now, really, I am. See, I'm in a middle of something that I don't really know what's that something-something! ah,silly! Ok fine, I'll be honest with you guys. Let me first ask you a question. What would you do if you made a very bad decision, and it is something you'll ever regret for the rest and remaining days of your life? urgh! very crucial huh?! Here's the thing, I BROKE UP WITH HIM, seriously! and after breaking up with him, numerous things keep bugging me and is stuck in my head -- what if after this BIG BREAK he'll find someone else? what if someday I'm gonna walk up the street and saw him walking with a new gal? what if these will all happen reversed? that I'm gonna be the one whose in his position right now, what would I feel?[I will definitely feel terrible]. Those were the enigma that made me go crazy. So fagadocious man! Heeeelp!:((

Fine, fine! I'll put in plain words what went wrong for you to be able to have an idea on what I am really talking about. Put yourself in my shoe. So, if your boyfriend happens to be hiding something from you and you found out in a damn bulletin[friendster] what was that, wouldn't you get mad, angry, and all? You found it out in a bulletin and not exactly from him! of course you should be mad! I mean, for me you should be. That's bullsh*t! Oh well, as for me, I didn't just got mad or angry, I got furious and that's why I broke up with him. Am I reasonable to do such risky thing? ugh! I'm so effin' confused! darn it! yeah right, I'm a shallow person and I know that reason of mine was too shallow either. Now I'm hating myself. STUPID me! I'm a LOSER! a big damn loser. gad! Will someone please help me?! urgh!:((

I do love him, I love him to death, I really do! but I'm just a human being and get tired too. We've been through so many fights, we argue a lot, we exchange blows, and we're stuck on it[forever]! See, if you happen to be in my spot, wouldn't you get tired, sick, and all? Look, I'm just a human, not a robot! even coffee won't make me any bolder. I must admit, I'm not the most understanding, patient, kind-hearted person in the whole universe -- and so you should claim to be neither, you're not perfect dude! huh! So yeah, I'm not perfect, then you better understand me now! [Calm down gen, everything's gonna be alright] It will all get better in time, I should know. I'll just wait for that time to come. I hope If that time comes, it's not yet too late.:((